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Costco Is Now Selling A $6,000 Doomsday Prepper Food Kit, In Case You Need One

Just in case you're worried about a hurricane crashing through your town or maybe you're losing sleep over what global apocalypse Donald Trump's next tweet may cause, you can relax now. Costco is here for you. The wholesale store is offering pallets of food that can feed a family of four for up to a year. And at the bargain price of $5,999, you can order online and get free shipping. Free shipping!

Costco says on its website:

 Enjoy the comfort in knowing you have the essential foods your family will need to survive an emergency or natural disaster!

As an added bonus Costco will deliver the 1,800 packages of food right to your door and the contents are “packaged discreetly for privacy in shipping.” No one needs nosy neighbors knowing that you have plenty of food when it all hits the fan. Also, no one needs people laughing and calling you a paranoid prepper behind your back. Win-win!

If the cost has you worried, just remember the GOP recently passed a HUGE tax break and, according to House Speaker Paul Ryan, that money is already rolling in. In a tweet that has since been deleted, Ryan bragged that a secretary who earned an extra $1.50 a week could cover her annual Costco membership for the year. 

The way we figure those numbers, it should take that secretary just under 77 years to save up enough for a Costco Premium Food Kit for a family of four. If her family is bigger than that? Well, in tough times you have to cut loose some dead weight. Sorry, Grandma. No food for you!

News of the doomsday kits has some folks wondering what Costco knows that we don't:

No Nathan, you're not paranoid. You're onto them!

Hey, you gotta have some fun while planning for the apocalypse.

Doomsday food *kids* sure are pricey.

Some people were not seeing the humor at all — and neither will you when the fire and fury rain down!

We're pretty sure you can "prep" by going to multiple stores. Who needs one-stop apocalypse shopping?

Ooh... super sleuth-y! We never thought of that.

Oh come on! Who is going to make sure you pay your bill after the world blows up? Pay now or no food for you!

Now's your chance. They even deliver. 

First we have to figure out what a BOB is and then we'll figure out what to do with our packages. 

Or you could just be like Jessie and use the kit like a normal person.


H/T: Grub Street, Fox