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Man Writes 150-Page Document Proving Every Carly Rae Jepsen Song Is Related

What's your favorite conspiracy theory?  Mine is the one about how all of Carly Rae Jepsen's songs are connected.

Max Landis has 150 pages on this, so it must be legit.

 Landis has launched a new website called A Scar No One Else Can See dedicated to this theory about what he refers to as “the Jepsen Pattern.”

You may now be curious: what exactly is “the Jepsen Pattern”? 

Landis begins, "imagine a world where the Beatles only sang songs about yellow submarines. Where every Beatles single song, no matter what, eventually came back to being about a yellow submarine.” 

Landis thinks Carly Rae Jepsen only sings about the yellow submarine.  Except instead of an actual submarine, it's a type of relationship going wrong, that contributes to a larger narrative.  And he thinks every single one of her songs is a part of this.  Everything, as he says, means: “three albums, two EPs, dozens of singles, and all of her unreleased music—even her covers. Even her TV show theme. Even her Christmas music.”

If you dare to plunge into the entire thing, you can do so here.

Go forth, my children.  I will see you on the other side.

H/T: Twitter, Slate